Growing up in an African household with my parents was a wonderful experience but there is one season in my life that I have never forgotten about and that was when my mam would scream at me all day for months until holidays were over.
At one point, I thought I was never loved by her, but as I grew up, I realized, how I was also a hard stubborn child to rise. I did everything my way and loved urging with my parents to an extent my dad advised me to be a lawyer since I urged all the time. Of course, I ended up doing economics at university and hear I am working online and rising a beautiful daughter.
After giving birth to my daughter, I had an attendance of yelling and shouting at her, sometimes, she would get scared, of course even though it only happened when she did something I hated, it wasn’t right for her and that’s when I realized, I had to change to be a better mother at all cost because the way you rise your children affects them for the rest of their lives.
How to stop being an angry yelling mom
These tips will help you become a good mother.
Identify your core problem
For every way you behave, there has to be a core problem that you haven’t addressed. and it keeps affecting your parental life. weather you are having problems in your marriage or you had a bad childhood and all those problems keep making you an angry mom.
It might be the situation you are going through, struggling with finances, being sick, depression, anxiety, or stress that is causing you to act the way you act.
I want to tell you, it’s okay for the start but if you don’t address it, it will end up affecting those people around you and the people you love.
When I realized my yelling was attributed to how I felt emotionally, I had to teach myself to be a better mom. Despite what you are going through, no child deserves that type of scare and yelling. Remember the way you treat them right now could affect them their entire lives.
Addressing your core problems won’t only make you a good mom but it will improve all your relationships making you a better person.
Remember they are kids
It’s time to remember that those are kids that are allowed to do mistakes, reflect backward on what made you yell at them, maybe they played with your important items, they poured dirt on the floors, they touched sockets, they played with something dangerous or they just did something that made you an angry mom.
These are kids that are just growing up and are allowed to do as many mistakes as they wish, you made so many mistakes when growing up.
Instead of yelling like an angry mom, be calm and polite even if it’s beyond what you can handle. I understand that sometimes, kids can be annoying but that’s when you have to be calm.
But that is what it takes to be a parent, when I look back, I wasn’t an easy child so I understand why my mom was so angry with me at a moment in my life.
Try to relax
Many mothers try perfection when raising kids, You are not perfect so even your child won’t be perfect. sometimes the imperfections are the things that make us who we are.
When you start to look for perfection while raising your kids, you will end up an angry mom because kids do many imperfect things.
Learn to appreciate what they do and avoid looking for perfection, otherwise, you will end up being the mom your kids will hate.
Giving birth to my child in Africa, she could go and bring a bag of sand, pour it in all her head and start jumping and playing in it. I just looked at her and allowed her to be happy because that is what it takes to be a child.
Kids do a lot of crazy things, just try to relax and let them be kids.
Seek for help
There are situations in life that even when you try to be a good mom, your anger overtakes and you end up being an angry mom that kids hate.
That can be the time to seek help, it’s okay to ask for help when you feel overwhelmed, I was always around a person not wanting to ask for help but when I learned to ask for help, My life changed, there is always help out there for any situation you are going through in your life, you just have to seek and find it.
You can start by talking to your family and friends, if you can’t find anything you want, Make an appointment with a psychiatrist to talk about it.
I also loved this course on how to be a good parent when nothing seems to work. check it out here.
Do not start by putting pressure on yourself to change, start slow, and with time, you will become better.
It takes time to learn to be a better person in all aspects of life, learn to say sorry afterward to your kids if you acted unnecessarily, remember they understand you and they will still love you because you are their mother.
By practicing, you will be there, you will end up good and all your mood swings and yelling will come under control.
Remember it takes time, so it will take time.
I hope you enjoyed this, feel free to share and leave a comment.