As a person who lost his dad in an accident, that moment can be the most devasting in any person’s life, losing someone you love is not easy and can destroy you both physically and mentally but there are ways to deal with the sudden death of your dad if you try.
Losing your dad suddenly comes with a lot of mixed feelings but by joining the rituals, giving yourself time to grieve, talking about them, and preserving the memories, you will be able to move on slowly with time.
There is no perfect age to lose a parent, every age is devasting but the only difference is when we are older, we understand what happened and how it happened, and besides, we might have spent enough time with the people we loved.
How to deal with the sudden death of your dad.
These tips will help you go through the most difficult time of your life, you will take time and you might never heal but it will become better with time.
1. Join the rituals
There are a number of rituals that are carried out when someone dies and this varies among different cultures. As a person born in an African home and country. There were no special rituals.
Funeral services and other rituals help you get through the first few days after the sudden death of your dad. you will meet many people which include friends, family, and other relatives, their talks will help you go through the most difficult time.
Some talks might even make you laugh, I understand that you are supposed to be sad and broken but it’s okay to smile in the right way in that period. I remember my family talked about so many weird staff and all we did was laugh.
2. Give yourself time to grieve
Going through one of the saddest times in your life can bring you stress, sadness, and anxiety but remember, we shall all go down the grave someday.
Allow yourself to grieve, it’s okay to take a leave from work for a few weeks as you allow yourself to feel better.
Everyone grieves in a different way, what worked for your friend might not work for you, you will have to figure out how to grieve as time goes on.
3. Preserve the memories
You loved your dad and you have so many memories with him, Both the good and the bad can be preserved, I remember so many annoying things my dad did throughout his life that I hated.
But I also have so many great memories we shared, the last few words my dad ever told me was that he loved me, that special word still means so much to this moment. the last minutes we ever spent together mean a lot to me in every way.
As humans, we are not perfect, Your dad might not have been perfect but it’s okay, remember you are not perfect too but even though, there are those special moments in your life that help you cope with the guilt of losing a father.
4. Talk about him
When you meet your friends, talk about him, talk about all the crazy things you miss about him, allow yourself to talk about all the fun things you did together.
Recently, I was telling a friend about my father’s diary where he shared a little glimpse about his sexual life and all of us were laughing when we read it. it was weird and funny but remembering that recently made me laugh out loud.
Talk about how strong he was, how he overcame any situation, or how he fought so hard to make sure you had everything you ever wanted. Talk about his greatest strength and weaknesses.
Talking about him will help you deal with the sudden death of your dad.
5. It’s okay to pretend to talk to him
Some people might think this is so crazy but I don’t think so, I used to sit in my father’s favorite spot around the house and I could start talking to him like he was listening to me.
To this moment, I still talk to him, I call him dad and I start talking to him, it helps me deal with the pain of missing him.
Call him and start talking to him like he was in front of you, share everything you want with him, and talk about everything.
You will feel better afterward.
6. Seek help and support
Sometimes, losing your dad suddenly can bring you both physiological and physical harm. It can be a lot to carry, you might end up with a lot of anxiety, stress, and depression.
That is the moment when you need to seek help and support from friends and family, sometimes joining a community group of people who have gone through similar situations can help.
If nothing still helps, consider getting a therapist, Don’t worry about going to offices and sitting, you can get help online at BetterHelp.
7. Do the things they enjoyed doing
What did your dad enjoy doing? My dad loved drinking, he used to buy us drinks at home from time to time which was just so amazing. After his passing, I remember buying some drinks and tossing them to him.
If he loved fishing, ice skating, playing soccer, or watching his favorite tv show, you can preserve all these memories by doing what he loved doing.
8. Let your emotions out
It’s okay to cry when you feel sad, allow yourself to let your emotions out, crying helps a lot. even though we are supposed to be strong, it’s okay to let your emotions out when you can.
If you feel sad and broken, allow yourself to cry as much as you can, allow yourself to grieve, and allow yourself to feel down, it’s okay.
Those are the tips on how you can cope and deal with the sudden death of your dad, I know it is a difficult time but time heals wounds, with time, it will get better.